Tease Play

As you will no doubt be aware, it is currently winter in the Northern Hemisphere. Here at Chez Tease, it’s been a particularly long and cold one. We’ve been buried in snow, over and over again. But I’m really enjoying this winter. You see last fall, we installed an outdoor sauna, and I’ve spent many happy hours sweating it out there. And alternating between rolling around naked in the snow, and sweating naked in the sauna is great fun, particularly when there’s alcohol and naked women involved.

These aren’t models or porn stars; just friends, neighbours, and wives and girlfriends of friends. You get the idea. After a few months of winter, most Canadians are pretty happy about trying out the sauna, and if the rule is “no clothes in the sauna” the majority are open-minded enough to go with the flow. All it takes is a little alcohol to lower the inhibitions, and we’re away on what should be, but sadly isn’t, an excellent sexual adventure.

Despite the nakedness, it’s not terribly sexy. It’s liberating and empowering and fun, but just too hot (and the snow too cold) and too utilitarian to get anyone excited. My friends and neighbours’ wives are generally past the age where they turn heads, and have progressed to the point where they do crazy things - like getting naked in their neighbour’s saunas - to try to turn heads. I have never shared a shower with my parents, but I imagine that if I had, this is what it woul d be like.

But. If I had a son (which I don’t) and if he was in his teenaged years, and if he had a girlfriend, and he successfully pursuaded her to get naked in the sauna with him, I imagine that that would be about the sexiest moment of both of their lives. Ah, son, how glad I am that the moral ambiguity of my having sexual fantasies on your behalf is rendered innocent by the fact of your non-birth.